And here’s a pig.
Now try and imagine the type of hybrid monster those two adorable creatures would make. I’ll give you a hint: it’s not adorable.
Spiderpigs hunt together in herds under the cover of night. And they will kill you.
They’re the size of a four-door sedan, and can easily climb trees and three-story houses. They don’t care who you are. They’re after you.
Their venomous fangs hanging below their massive snouts release a poison that paralyzes you in under five minutes. Thankfully, most of the time spiderpigs will tear your limbs off and eat you before they let the poison fully run its course. They’re quite impatient to feast on your flesh.
You think you can hide from them?
HELL NO.
SPIDERPIGS SMELL FEAR FROM SEVEN MILES AWAY.
You think you can run from them?
HELL NO.
SPIDERPIGS ARE FASTER THAN CHEETAHS.
You think you can outsmart them?
HELL NO.
SPIDERPIGS CONSISTENTLY SCORE ABOVE THE NINTIETH PERCENTILE IN STANDARDIZED TESTS.
SPIDERPIGS. Watch for ‘em. THEY’LL GETCHA.
